Tuesday, November 1, 2011

Life. It's too short....

I lost my best friend on Wednesday of last week. After a long hard battle with cancer for the past 5 years, I guess God decided she had had enough and decided it was time she be with Him.  She was the strongest most carefree person you would have ever met. Everytime I talked to her I would ask about her health and latest treatments and I recall her saying to me after I asked if she was scared to have brain surgery she said to me "Yes, but there's nothing I can do about it so I just do what I have to do and I can't worry about it." She always had this way of breezing right past the nasty stuff and focusing on the fun, happy things in life-like her husband and beautiful triplets!

We often chatted on our way home from work to each other. I expected my 3:30pm daily calls from her as she headed home or to her Dr appts. We talked about everything and talked about meaningless stuff like Britney Spear's latest album, small things which kept it light and fun. But that was what we did, that was us!

I remember when Meghan and I first met at Fort Lewis College. We lived across the hall from each other. Both of us away from home embarking on college life=big time! She was this very outgoing girl whom I looked up to often, me being the shy more reserved one. She wasn't afraid to speak her mind and determined to get her way.  After that 1st year of college we spent the summer as roommates in Greeley. I later transfered to college in Ft Collins so we had this distance between us but that never interfered with the bond we had. She was so much fun. Everytime we got together it was laughter, fun and more fun. I guess that's why after college we became roommates yet again.

This time embarking on "real grown-up" lives with real jobs and careers if you will. We still knew how to have fun, probably too much fun at times! Thru the up's and down's of friendship, dealing with boyfriends, family sickness, to finally becoming married adults with kids. We had so much in common despite my shyness and her bold outgoingness (is that a word?). She was an amazing spirit who had a larger impact in my life than I think she ever knew.

Thru college, weddings our pregnancies and becoming mother's we went thru nearly every right of passage you could have in life. I feel so sad that that time had to come to an abrupt end so soon. I had envisioned a different ending.  It saddens me deeply that its one year and one week to the day that I also lost my father to cancer.  Both too young to have their lives taken like this. Life is too short, you just never know what can happen. Live it to the fullest. I guess the best thing I can take away from this is to live a lil bit more carefree like Meggy would have.  I called her Meggy.
How fitting, as I am sitting her writing this an old Indigo Girls song came on. Meghan loved this song.
FAST FORWARD TO 5 days later.....I sit creating the CD to play at her funeral. My heart is breaking each and every day I feel an emptiness without her around. Per Barton's request though there is some Britney Spears on the CD of course bc it just wouldn't be Meggy with out it.
Meggy, I love you!


  1. Carri, thank you so much for this wonderful post. It is very uplifting and Steve and I are so grateful you were such close friends. She told me years ago, and I know it didn't change, that you were her best friend. Please stay in our lives. Much love, Mary Ann

  2. Carri, this was a beautiful post. I am so sorry that Meghan lost her battle with cancer, from what I have read and everything you have said....she fought it hard. I smiled when I read about you and she living together in your early 20's. I remember that like it was yesterday, our boyfriends, you and Meghan's apt, going out, us working together...all the fun times and care free times we had. I did not know her well, but I knew she was very special to you. We have been thinking of you a lot lately. Lots of hugs. I hope to see you soon girly...


  3. Carri, That is such a beautifully written post about your bestie. I am sooooo sorry to hear about your loss and I can empathize. Lots of hugs your way and I wish there was more I could say.

    Much Love, Sarah

  4. My heart hurts so much for you Carri, and for her family and I'm sure many other friends. You had such a beautiful friendship. Hugs and prayers to you as you work through your grief and remember all of the wonderful times you had with her.